Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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