you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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