i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
