he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
