Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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