windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
