I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
