I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
