Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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