Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
