if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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