If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
