Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
