I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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