i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize