Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
