I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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