They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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