i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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