didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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