so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
