So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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