On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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