I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
