He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
