your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
