I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize