I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
