OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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