He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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