is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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