i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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