TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
