all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
