I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
