im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
