I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
