these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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