Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
