had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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