"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
