lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
