Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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