Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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