so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize