But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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