don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
