He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
