No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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