I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
