i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
