okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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