Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
