do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
