just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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