ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
