Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
