So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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