Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just gift wrapped bread.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
