there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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