we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
