yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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