I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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