who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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