Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
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