I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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