My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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